Monday, December 7, 2009

A change Is In The Air.....

It snowed the other day.
While many got to enjoy the scenery of snow covered ground
and wintry tree tops,
I only got to see the snow fall.
It was simply too wet for the snow to stick...but it did snow.

I know that I have been M.I.A. for a few days.
And so many of you have asked about an update on my condition.
I went to Houston on  Thursday for a very long day of testing.
(Very loooooooong day.)

I have been in more pain this last week than I ever have.
I can no longer walk without limping.
There are times when my leg simply gives out.
I am extremely tired from lack of sleep
and my appetite sucks.....big time.

My doctor has changed some of my medication
to help my symptoms
and she called me with a glimmer of hope.
The bone scan didn't show a malignant process
where the tumor is
but I have to get a MRI
to confirm or deny that.

After I came home,
I was in DESPERATE need of getting my hair done.
For those of you who don't know me really well......
I get my hair done.
Often.Very often.
Every week.
It's what I do.

As I walked in to the salon,
my hairdresser notices my limp and asks me what's wrong.
I was hesitant to tell her
but since I don't have a t-shirt that says
"Ask me about my tumor"
I went ahead and told her.

This woman,
who has only seen me three times in her life,
spent the entire last twenty minutes of my appointment
to tell me that the reason that I had a tumor
was because I wasn't a faithful enough Christian
and that I was living a defeated, sinful life.

I have never been so stunned and so angry
in all of my days.
Normally, this would have been the time
where I would have jumped out of my seat and probably
gave her a good "what for."
But I just sat there....
I tried to talk but she wouldn't let me have a word in edgewise.
So I paid and left....
crying the whole way home.

I tried to call my sister...she was asleep.
I tried to call my husband...he was at work.
I tried to call my mama....she didn't answer the phone.

It was just me....all alone.

So I talked to God.
I know that He knows my heart and my desires.
I know that my body is subject to sickness and we
are all subject to death
but I don't know why
it has to be me...and why now.

I'm happy.
For the first time in along time
I'm finally happy.
I have the most wonderful husband and loving family.
I have been blessed with
four beautiful children
who I love and adore.
I have a great job and awesome friends.

Why place this burden upon me now?

Mr. M and I have only been married five months.
My son is about to graduate high school
and all of my dreams were coming true.

I know that I have to trust in the Lord
and lean not to my own understanding.
I just don't understand.
Maybe I am defeated....

I talked with the Lord
and I will no longer feel beat down by this.
I will no longer be captive by whatever "this" is
and I will most definitely not let
take my joy.

I can't promise that there won't be anymore tears.
(I'm crying as I type ...)
but I won't be scared.
I won't worry.
I can only do what I can do
and simply carry on.

Anne once told me that
I was a really strong person.
I hope so because I plan to move mountains.

There will be no more pity parties.

There is a change in the air for me.

It is snowing in my life right now.....
but I promise that it won't  get the chance to stick.


  1. WTF!!!! First, I am so impressed with your strength, character and faith. Second, who the hell does that bitch think she is!?!?!? Oohh, I absolutely can not stand ignorant, pontificating people!!! I wish I had been sitting at the next chair, I'd still be snapping and snarling... Don't feel like naming names do you?

  2. Well, let's see here! First of all I want to smack the lady who was all in your face at the beauty shop! That is not, in my opinion, Godly at all!!! God wants us to be engouraging and loving and certainly NOT bring others down who are already feeling low. Hold your pretty head high, pray hard as I will be doing for you and let's get you back stepping high! Love and prayers from Georgia:)

  3. Please stop crying and wipe the tears from your eyes. This is situation is not because you are not a good enough Christian. First of all, WHENEVER lil sis comes to town again I am going to MAKE A POINT TO GO SEE HER!! I will be forced to tell her about herself and her situation, in the name of Jesus. Secondly, you are not alone..."Lo, I am with you even until the ends of the earth.." And I am here.. always.

  4. PS....Oh, and definitely find another hairdresser!!!


  5. Well now, didn't THAT make you feel all warm and tingly inside??? That woman has got it ALL wrong. Our Father does NOT give us sickness and disease to teach us something. If that were the case, why would Jesus go about doing good and healing ALL that were sick? He would have been defeating the purposes of His Father! No. We DO have an enemy who wants to destroy us. And we DO live in a fallen world where bad things happen to the just and the unjust.
    No answers as to why, right now, this is happening in your life. But...I do know you have found THE answer. Rest in Him. Trust Him. Feed yourself from His Word. And continue hiding yourself under the shadow of the Almighty.

    And may the peace of God, which passes all understanding, be yours today, tomorrow, and forever,

  6. I don't know you well but I do read your blog from time to time. That hairdresser will eventually learn the pain that she caused you but all to a good end because she ulitmately gave you more strength (although I am sorry that she was so horrid).

    I needed to read this post today. Desperately, because it applies to my own life. So, from a stranger, thank you.

  7. Unfortunately, we share this world with people that are just plain stupid. Don't let your hairdresser get you down - just go find a new one!

    The Lord loves you and he shares your pain with you. He walks along side you and carries you as well. Jump up in his lap and let him stroke your hair.

    Sending you hugs,

  8. Well I hope the snow on your life doesn't stick! I also hope I run into that hair dresser in a dark dare her!

    Sending you lots of hugs and prayers.

  9. I can't belive what that woman said...that is so clearly UNTRUE!! I'm kinda like you, I probably would have been stunned and not know what to do immediately. DON'T GO BACK TO HER!!You don't know me from boo, but I really enjoy your blog and I praying & thinking about you today. You have to almost laugh at some people's stupidity. I'm almost ready for a good rant. Enjoy your Monday. Sally Hackney

  10. Dear Angelique, I am just so sorry you had to endure this woman's off balance opinion and lack of sensitivity. Let it slide, sweetie, you don't need to carry this. It's good to get it out. I was hoping you were going to say she spent that time praying with you.
    I want you to know that all of us out there are praying for you, and I'm believing that there will come a time soon to hop, skip, and jump in praise to God for your healing. I know God is with you, He's right by your side, so just keep close to Him, and turn off the distractions of the enemy hurling those fiery darts at you. What a sister you have, praise God for that Misty, but we sure don't want her in Jail!
    big hugs and lots of love,

  11. Oh I am so sorry to hear that you are not well. I am sending prayers your way for Gods hands on healing.

    May your day be full of magic



  12. Hi! My name is Susan I live in Georgia. I just read your blog.
    I have never written to you before..I don't even know your name but really what matters is that I cried with "you" as I read your account of what has been going on in your life and I just want you to know that I care about you and I am praying for you and I am your friend. I understand a bit of what you are going through I am 53 yrs old. I have my share of physical problems from arthritis to
    fibromyalgia to a rare inherited eye disease.
    You are a child of God and He loves you unconditionaly always..all the time and in all
    ways. I know how people can be so cruel I have had it in my life and even the loved ones I thought would care really didn't! I know we all have our crosses to bear and God has a reason for everything that happens in our life... and we all ask why at some point, why me??? God has a plan for me and I will wait on the Lord to lead me in the direction of my purpose. You have a great and loving family and that is most important after our Heavenly Father...His will be done and our faith and trust to follow Him and he will help you move those mountains!!!
    Love through Christ always and forever.
    Susan in Georgia.

  13. I just read your sisters blog about this stupid hairdresser and I'm so angry I want to ask you for her number so I can call her up and tell her a thing or two! I don't know you but feel your pain and just wanted to tell you that I'm still praying for you.

  14. I have never responded to your blog, but I tend to read and laugh are a beautiful person and have a special place on this Earth!

    Things happen for reasons unknown to us at the time. Perhaps the hairdresser was thrown into your path to get you to the place where you are TODAY!! Enjoy each day to its fullest and try to not dwell on the what "ifs"!

    Keep on smiling and trust our creator to get you through the rough spots.

  15. Shame on her! Anyone who is truly close with the Lord should know better than cast judgement on anyone else. We all need to say a prayer for HER today. And I will continue my daily prayers for you and yours....keep your head up and keep on keepin' on.

  16. To tell you the truth, I feel a little sorry for that hairdresser. No, not because she may face the wrath of Misty! ;-)

    But because she seems to have this silly notion that everything is ultimately under her own control. That if she just has enough "faith," she can, in effect, get God in on her plan instead of the other way around.

    Something in life is going to come along and hit her squarely between the eyes, just as it does for all of us. But it's going to be especially painful for her.

    Praying for you.

  17. Oh my gosh! Girl, you should have called me! I can't believe this happened to you. Well, let me start off by saying that I am so proud of you. You are standing firm and leaning on God! I am still praying and believing for total healing and a good report from the doctor. I am here for you if you ever need to talk or just cry or pray or whatever!

    Love you much!

  18. You know God is right there holding your hand as he will through the next days/months/years in your life. I know sometimes we don't get the answers right away but he evenually will reveal the answers to you. God is in control and he does know all your desires, fears, hopes and dreams and it's his desire to make these come true!

  19. Wow, that just isn't right...I can't believe someone would assume to know anything about you and your relationship with God...your faith is your own and no one else's...

    Sending prayers and many blessings and well wishes your way!!!


  20. Okay dear Angelique - I'm not sure what to say because - tho I've only met you once - I totally love you. Not in the "i'm a weirdo/stalker/freak" way, but in the I truly love you. And you are in my prayers so much that you would think I'm a freak for thinking of you that much. I'm just saying.

    My instant thought (after getting WAY mad) of the hairdresser is what a hypocrit, and I feel sorry for her that she doesn't know God's grace - and that she didn't recognize it with you sitting in her chair. Well, for that matter, doesn't seem to me that she knows ANYTHING about God and the way he rolls. Just my thoughts....there were a lot more - but I'll tell Misty 'bout 'em while we're chunkin' our earrings.

    "When we can't piece together the puzzle of our own lives, remember the best view of a puzzle is from above. Let him help you put it together." That's one of my favorite sayings - and I think it often when I can't figure out the "why me" part of my life. I don't know why you - but I do know that you have one heck of a support system when you feel like limping. And, I do know the power of prayer and girl, we've all got your back.

    Now dodge the snowflakes and I am so THANKFUL for the glimmer of hope (glimmers are my favorite!!!) and I am also feeling so blessed to know you.

    I could go on and on, but I have to find my earrings...I think Misty threw 'em somewhere and I don't know where...

    ;-) Robelyn

  21. I am so upset that you had to go through that. That is the kind of person that make Christian's seem like nuts. No wonder the secular world feels as they do about us.

    First you need to know there is nothing biblical to back up what she said, she's just a nutcase.
    2nd you need to know that you did not do anything to cause this. Bad things happen to all of us, no one escapes. Instead of saying "why me" we should all have the "Why not me" attitude. Easy for me to say, I don't have cancer right now, but It's a goal anyway.

    Please rest in the fact that God will take this situation and turn it on it's head and work miracles through it. You will look back someday and say "now I see what you were doing". Keep the faith, lean on family and friends, and you'll be fine.
    Margo aka robolady

  22. Dear sweet new friend...I am so sorry that you are having to go thru this.
    I know(from experience) is that the Lord is always good and only gives us what we can handle.
    He sees more in us than we often see in ourselves. I know right now with all of this on your's hard to see the blessings that He has in store for you.
    A far as this misguided individual...Pray for her...I myself will do the same when next I lift you up...Please can do this...He knew you would and could and when it's all matter the outcome...You will see the blessing. I have a will be awesome.
    Have a wonderful evening...Enjoy that family of yours...They love you and will nurture will all of your friends out here in blogland...your friend...donna

  23. I'm so sorry that you had to meet such a person, self rightousness is soooo ugly. I read Mistys blog first and have to say I'm right with her on her 'takin out her earrings' and would lose mine with her to set the hairdresser right! O.k. that being said, my prayers are with you, take care ~ Theresa

  24. The enemy comes in all shapes and sizes when trying to shake your faith. Don't let him do it! You know you walk in His footprints and that woman is a fool. Spouting such vile things...too bad you didn't tape it to play back to her! That kind of negative cr@p is the last thing you need to be hearing and she should know better if she is a child of God.
    I really think you should talk to the shop owner about her. If she talked to you that way, she'll do it to others and why should that kind of hypocrisy be allowed to continue.
    I'm still standing on the promise you will be getting better and stronger....cancer free.

  25. OH MY GOSH, the nerve of your ex-hairdresser!!! Love, hugs and prayers to you!

  26. Pardon my language, but this pissed me off when you told me about this this yesterday, and it does even moreso now the longer I think about it. I suppose it's the Christian thing to pray for this poor, misguided woman, but honestly, how intelligent do you have to be to know that this is *NOT* what you say to someone in pain, both physical and emotional?

    But pray for her I will, because alas, I have known "Christians" such as her before, those who will spout off with the utmost authority that if you only had more faith, your life would be a walk in the park. I don't know which bible these folks read, but it's surely not the well-thumbed copy I have...

    I was happy to hear hope in your voice when we talked. It had been lacking of late, and my heart hurt for you. I know you still have a bit of a ways to go to feel 100% again, but girl, you just find yourself a new hairdresser, get yourself a pimped-out cane, and face the world with that inimitable Six style!

    Love you!

  27. A dear friend of mine (and sister in law) reminded me once that we as Christians have to pray for our enemies. Uhg--not easy. But, when I do I can let my anger and frustrations toward them go and then I can continue working on my relationship with God. Seems to me you're already there. I'm glad all your Earth support wasn't available at that moment so you went straight to the Source of all comfort and peace. I'll say a prayer for you too!

  28. wow! i am so sorry to hear what you are going through...i will be praying for you, for your strength and healing.


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