Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Don't Let The Cane Fool Ya



Okay.....
I know that many of you have been
wondering about the state of my condition.

Do ya see the picture above?
That's pretty much EXACTLY what
I look like nowadays.

I have my cane,
my insanely big purse
(because I can't hold cane, and purse, and cell phone, and umbrella anymore...)
my shoes, jacket and hat.
Subtract the hump in the back and I look
Just
Like
That.

My leg is so weak
that it has a tendency to give out on me,
especially if I have to walk a good distance.

So was the case today.
I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items
for dinner.
It was pouring rain.
I got beat out by every little old lady
in this town for a grocery carryout.
Some of...no....
MOST OF
them walked better than me.
Anywhoo...
I wheeled my own shopping cart outside...hobbling.

Insert teenage thug....
Black hair, skinny jeans and tattoo on the neck..
Got the picture?

Said thug runs up to me and offers
to carry my groceries to my car.
"No thank you.I got it."
"But you're limping...here, I'll help you."
"I limp everyday. I got it. No thank you."

This is where said thug makes
his biggest mistake.....
ever.

This boy tries to snatch my purse from the grocery cart
and take off running.
Yeah............
I don't think so.

I introduced said thug to.....


He was trying to run and I was steady
beating him like he stole something...
Oh wait!!!
He was stealing something!!!
My purse!!!

Continue beating with my cane and cursing.


He's now on the ground clinging to my purse
and I fall right on top of him.
I am giving him the butt whoopin'
that his mama
apparently never gave him.

A sacker runs over to help me
and the thug runs off...
without my purse.


Everyone runs over to help me...
Where were ya'll before?
They offer to call the police.
No need...
I got my purse..life is good.
I finally get my carry out for my groceries.
I'm soaking wet and a little sore
but I'm fine.

I ASSURE you that said thug
is tending to his whelps
even as I type.

My mama was killing herself laughing.
The Divine Mr. M
is a nervous wreck.
My mother-in-law
asked me if I was scared.

Me??
Scared??
I've raised a teenager
and have looked cancer in the face....
It would take alot more than
some little twit
to scare me.

I'm an ER nurse.
This is what I do.

Maybe he'll think reallll hard
before he tries to snatch a purse
from a little lady with a cane.


On another note:
I'm real slow moving these days
and my next stop was the post office to mail off all of my giveaways
but Mr. M was all wigged out
and asked me to stay home.

I promise you that everything will be mailed out next week.
I'm just moving a little slow now
and some days I don't move at all
but I'm getting back in the swing of things
and adjusting to my new way of doing things.

I hope that everyone has a
Happy New Year!!!!!!

33 comments:

  1. You are officially my HERO!!!!!!! Best story ever! Take care of yourself and remember Slow and Steady wins the race! ~Theresa

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  2. Way to go!!! I hope you scarred that little punk, so every day he thinks about the ass kicking he got from a lady with a cane!

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  3. Oh good grief... you're getting back into the swing of things... SURE AS HECK FIRE SOUNDS LIKE IT!!! I'm so sorry Angelique, but I am laughing- I have to leave you for a second...

    Okay, I'm back...but I'm still laughing! It all sounds so scary - but you have me laughing!!! How do you do that?!!? I am SO SO SO SO SO THANKFUL that you are okay - and that you are strong... and ferocious with that Thar cane!!! I think I'll design a purse JUST FOR YOU and make sure it has a steel bottom... then I'm going to duck and run.

    I hope you have a WONDERFUL New Year... and please remember... the tortoise won the race.

    xoxoxo
    robelyn

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  4. Bless you - your strong positive attitude sustains you.
    Sylvia

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  5. I love it!!! Price women at their finest!!! I KNOW that he will think twice before he tries that again. Way to go!!

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  6. What a little punk! Maybe he will turn his life around.... what a jerk to offer help and then steal.... I was hoping that you were going into how not to judge a book by its cover... too bad he lived up to the thugishness!

    Happy New Year!
    Michelle
    ps. maybe you need some spikes for that cane...

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  7. Oh My Goodness!
    You are my hero!
    I can't begin to tell you how much I admire you for getting thru all that you have been thru of late...but now...this!
    I only hope I have what you have when things get rough for me.
    Hope everything gets better soon!
    Thanks for letting us know how your doing!
    have a wonderful New Years!
    hopefully Drama free!
    blessings...donna

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  8. You are da bomb and a bit insane! Dumb kid thug needed that beating, but not by you! Too dangerous...we need you around. That is just pathetic. So, you said if I needed to talk, to just give you a buzz. Problem is. I don;t have your #....hahahaha. I could use someone completely disconnected from my life to talk to right about now. E-mail me at melifaif@yahoo.com and if you don't mind - leave your number. I won't stalk you, promise. I love you two Six Sisters...who knew that you could find such important people through a blog? You ladies are strong and funny. Characteristics I adore. But, please. No more beat downs on thugs...deal? Tell me this was in Conroe and not H-town? Not that it makes it better or worse, but damn sista! Reminds me not to mess witcha too much!

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  9. Oh Angelique, I am sorry that thug TRIED to snatch your purse. But... I am happy that you gave him a good butt whooping with that cane:) Why don't people just get a job! Anyway, I have been praying for you! Hugs to you and I hope you feel better daily!

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  10. seriously. gurl...what in the heck fire! that makes me crazy, but i have no doubt that little (blank) will think twice the next time! so glad you RULED! Happy New Year!

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  11. Girl! I'm glad you opened up that can of whoop.....a.....ah, I mean used that cane on that no good for nothing redneck hoodlum.
    He sure got what he deserved. However, I have to laugh when I visualize you wrestling him down to the ground and then someone comes along to help. I'd say he's the one that was rescued.
    Whew!

    I do hope you feel better though. I'm glad it's not gettin you down.

    Happy New Year.....it's bound to be better in 2010.

    ~~hugs~~Sissie

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  12. Love it, love it, love it! Way to go, girl! You made me laugh! You also made me proud! Don't let those young punks get you down!

    Malisa

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  13. Girl, I am LMAO over here!!!!! This was hilarious....not that you almost got mugged, but you beating that boys's butt! Ha Ha Ha!

    I just read your post to my hubby and now he is laughing, too!

    Have a Happy New Year!

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  14. Your cane is actually on its way! It's traveling by ground, hence the slowness in it getting to ya.
    I hadn't forgotten ya!

    XO,
    Anne

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  15. I just want you to know I am sending you the biggest hug ever from Cali what a story!!!! I am always insprired by your strength but my jaw is on the ground that this world has become such a place of heartless action. I thank God you were not harmed much. Praying for you and Misty. You gals are a blessing to my soul.

    Happy New Year to you and your loved ones

    Kate

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  16. Girl! I so knew you had this in you and more. You are my kinda gal through and through. Yee haw! Happy New Year, my friend. ~Mindy

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  17. Holy crap girl! What an incredible idiot he was....and one fierce chick YOU are!! I'm glad your story had a decent ending. Here's wishing you all the same "go get 'em" determination and "can-do" attitude for 2010!

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  18. I am so proud of you taking up for yourself!! You go girl!! Can you give me self defense lessons!!!??

    blessings for a wonderful new year!

    Mary

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  19. Way to stick it to him!!! That tatooed punk needed a lesson.

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  20. Wow! What a day and what a fighter! I bet everyone around was astounded (I don't think I spelled that right) at you and just couldn't get going. I'm so glad your okay. I'm keeping you in my prayers. And now that I know your safe thank you for putting a smile on my face. I can just see that dumb idiot now.

    Hugs...Tracy :)

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  21. What a fun blog you have. Your post had me cracking up!

    xo.

    http://jennymayandswede.blogspot.com/

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  22. Well, hi my name is Lynda I was invited to read your blog and have to say that it was GRRREAT!!!! Glad to see you gave that little jerk the beating he needed :)...Stay safe, be back to check out more of your blogs soon!

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  23. YOU GO GIRL! I just came here from my Mom's Blog (theycallmeganky.blogspot.com). She told us about you and I am glad I came! You are so brave to be facing all you do and taking down thugs in the process. I hope he does think again next time he decides to (instead of making honest money) steal from someone who maybe looks like they cannot fight. Take care of your self and Happy New Year.

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  24. Angelique, Honey, you are one brave and funny girl! Wish I'd had a video camera! But then if I'd been there, there would have been two of us trouncing the scoundrel! "Have cane, will travel". Oh, you're too young to remember that. Old western, insert "gun" instead of "cane".
    Have a wonderful New Year's!
    love,
    Debra

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  25. Thank goodness that you are OK!!! I can barely type reading your account of the event...I am like your mom and am laughing my face off!!! I can see that your circumstances have left your sense of humor in tact... for that we can all be glad.... Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.....

    Glad you are certified in Cane Self Defense...

    Happy New Year and God Bless you and yours.

    Effie

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  26. Wow! You're something else!! You really gave him a whooping and a humiliating one too since you are a girl! Poor guy didn't know what he was dealing with! Maybe he'll decide on a different business now rather than purse stealing. And so low too to pretend to want to help you. Oh, man...

    I think we can see you're able to take care of yourself. TeeHee.

    Have a Beautifully Blessed New Year...

    Cynthia K. (Beauty and Blessings)

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  27. Oh. My. WORD!!!
    Are you kidding?
    That's terrible!
    Glad you kept your purse and gave that punk a good wollopping!

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  28. Oh my goodness--I can not believe that
    Good for you. Now I have to go read up on what is up with the leg and limp.

    Did you ever get your painting?

    Cheri

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  29. Angelique how I admire you and pity that idiotic boy...You have such an amazing zest for life! I hope you have a wonderful New Year filled with lots of love, good health, laughter and all good things for 2010! Besos, Rose

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  30. You are too funny! I love the sense of humor you have regardless of the challenges you face. Sorry I have been away for a while and haven't been able to keep touch with you, but do know you will be in my prayers tonight. Hope all is well for you and your family.

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  31. Absolutely amazing, its always better to have prevention better than cure, We and all know this truth then too we are tend to do something which is not gonna help us and give us harm in a long run.

    r4 ds

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  32. I absolutely LOVE this. I know it is there and everywhere but I am always amazed at the minds of people. Why they have no remorse about stealing, hurting,killing.

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