Don't Let The Cane Fool Ya

Okay.....

I know that many of you have been

wondering about the state of my condition.

Do ya see the picture above?

That's pretty much EXACTLY what

I look like nowadays.

I have my cane,

my insanely big purse

(because I can't hold cane, and purse, and cell phone, and umbrella anymore...)

my shoes, jacket and hat.

Subtract the hump in the back and I look

Just

Like

That.

My leg is so weak

that it has a tendency to give out on me,

especially if I have to walk a good distance.

So was the case today.

I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items

for dinner.

It was pouring rain.

I got beat out by every little old lady

in this town for a grocery carryout.

Some of...no....

MOST OF

them walked better than me.

Anywhoo...

I wheeled my own shopping cart outside...hobbling.

Insert teenage thug....

Black hair, skinny jeans and tattoo on the neck..

Got the picture?

Said thug runs up to me and offers

to carry my groceries to my car.

"No thank you.I got it."

"But you're limping...here, I'll help you."

"I limp everyday. I got it. No thank you."

This is where said thug makes

his biggest mistake.....

ever.

This boy tries to snatch my purse from the grocery cart

and take off running.

Yeah............

I don't think so.

I introduced said thug to.....

He was trying to run and I was steady

beating him like he stole something...

Oh wait!!!

He was stealing something!!!

My purse!!!

Continue beating with my cane and cursing.

He's now on the ground clinging to my purse

and I fall right on top of him.

I am giving him the butt whoopin'

that his mama

apparently never gave him.

A sacker runs over to help me

and the thug runs off...

without my purse.

Everyone runs over to help me...

Where were ya'll before?

They offer to call the police.

No need...

I got my purse..life is good.

I finally get my carry out for my groceries.

I'm soaking wet and a little sore

but I'm fine.

I ASSURE you that said thug

is tending to his whelps

even as I type.

My mama was killing herself laughing.

The Divine Mr. M

is a nervous wreck.

My mother-in-law

asked me if I was scared.

Me??

Scared??

I've raised a teenager

and have looked cancer in the face....

It would take alot more than

some little twit

to scare me.

I'm an ER nurse.

This is what I do.

Maybe he'll think reallll hard

before he tries to snatch a purse

from a little lady with a cane.

On another note:

I'm real slow moving these days

and my next stop was the post office to mail off all of my giveaways

but Mr. M was all wigged out

and asked me to stay home.

I promise you that everything will be mailed out next week.

I'm just moving a little slow now

and some days I don't move at all

but I'm getting back in the swing of things

and adjusting to my new way of doing things.

I hope that everyone has a

Happy New Year!!!!!!