Monday, November 23, 2009

Facing the Storm

I feel like this little bird.
Small, insignificant and alone.

This week has been very hard for me.
It is one of the roughest moments in my life to date.
I thought very long and hard about sharing my situation
with anyone outside of my immediate family and my dearest friend.
I have prayed even harder.

For the last month, I have not felt so hot.
I have this low grade constant fever with no other symptoms
except bone pain in my right thigh...deep bone pain.

I saw a doctor who told me I had the flu?
Not likely......I don't have a single symptom of the flu.

I was seen in the Emergency room because my pain was excruciating
and I felt like "what the owl left on the limb."
I was told I was severely dehydrated.

Not possible.....I eat and drink okay
(my appetite sucks lately...but not that bad.)

I returned to Houston to see my doctor.
She did an xray.
I have a lesion on my femur.
We do more tests...
It's a tumor of some sort...cancer most certain.
I don't know what type of cancer it is or if it's even the primary tumor.
(I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2005....been okay

I shared my situation with Adrienne of The Flying Bee yesterday
when we were shopping together.
She encouraged me to share my story with ya'll.
Because Adrienne says that I'm in need of prayer
 and that there are so many people who would want to lift me up in prayer.

I have many reservations about sharing my ordeal.
I'm not big on people doting on me.

I'm very open about my life in regards to alot of things except things that are dead serious.
Then, I'm like an old dog..I want to go under the house and be left alone.

The Divine Mr. M is trying to be a trooper.
He feels that it's not fair..maybe it's not but it is what it is.
There have been many tears shed this week and lots of kisses on the forehead.
My family has rallied around me and have offered so much love that I am grateful
but I still feel like that bird.

No one truly knows my pain...or my fears that I have.
There has been talk of amputation....

(which has been followed by jokes of making my prosthesis into a table lamp...
like on A Christmas Story.)

These are the friends and family that I have...gotta love did make me laugh though!

As a nurse who used to be on an oncology floor, I know all of the possible outcomes.
90% of those terrify me.

I am not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me....please don't because I don't feel sorry for me.
I just had to share what's been weighing my heart down.

I hope to continue to keep sharing my ideas and inspirations with all of you
as ya'll keep me sane and have given my life a change for the better.

I don't know what the Lord has in store for one does.
It was once said that each burden is a blessing.....I sure hope that's true.

I'm just going to be like that little bird.
I'm gonna hold on and face the storm.

I hope that ya'll will understand
and if anyone wants to volunteer
to hold up my branch for me...thank you.


  1. Well, bird... we have done everything together so far and we will do this too!! That way if you can't hold on to the branch- I will just have to flap my wings as hard as I can and carry you. I love you !!!!!

  2. Angelique, we are all here for you. I am putting up a prayer request for you on the side bar of my Bible Study. Please know that God is with you, holding you in His hands. He is not ready for you to leave your family. You have a life that is important to Him here on earth. Believe in His sustaining and healing power. I just did a post on the Bible Study Blog today about seeing miracles. I am believing for one for you, Sweetie, you and your sister! Trust God and know I am standing with you and will be in agreement with you for complete healing.
    Jesus loves you, this I know.

  3. I will most definitely be praying. Thank you for sharing is much easier to bear a burden when you have shared it with others. Please do not hesitate to let us know what is happening....


  4. Matthew 10:29-31
    Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

    We will pray...


  5. If, collectively, we can be the wind beneath your wings, then you can count on my blowing as hard as I can. Seriously! And Adrienne is right. I do want to lift you and your family and your physicians in prayer. God, I am sure, likes to hear your name. I do believe He's about to be inundated. We love you and lift you up. ~Mindy

  6. I love what you said, "I'm just going to be like that little bird. I'm gonna hold on and face the storm." Just remember... you are not facing this storm alone... God is with you! You will be in my thoughts and prayers! Prayer can be so powerful... so glad your friend encouraged you to ask for them! :)

  7. I just wanted to say simply that you are in my prayers. I found your site just today and hope that you find comfort through your gifts because you truly are gifted artistically! Again I hope and pray for a positive outcome for you and your loved ones.

  8. I just came over from french charming and although we don't know eachother I felt compelled to write... I think a bird is a good choice, they're beautiful, they sing, they can fly, and they must be incredibly strong to be able to hang onto their branch in the eye of the storm. My prayers are with you. ~ Theresa

  9. As I have suffered a lost and soon another.. a very dear loving child of mine..

    the verse from Isaish 12:2 .. "My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word."

    Open your heart and your mind and allow to be strengthen.

    Hugs from me to you as you are loved.


  10. Girl, I am just tearing up over here. This was such a true and honest and beautiful post. I am so proud of you for facing your fears and sharing this with all of us becasue I know others will stand with you in agreement in prayer for a healing and for a good report from your doctor about this whole situation. I am here for you and like I said, I will be praying for you every day! Even though we haven't known each other long, I just know you are a strong woman and a fighter! You are going to get through this and be victorious in Jesus name! Amen!


  11. I too was a little bird holding on to that branch with all my might during my battle with breast cancer. I am right there with you.

    I am sending you love and light and just believe in the power of prayer. I will be glad to hold up your branch.

    Love to you,
    LuLu Kellogg

  12. I pray daily and you will be in those prayers, I promise! We don't know what our future holds but thankfully we know the "ONE" who does. I am holding up a branch for you little bird and please keep in touch with us! Love and prayers from Georgia:)

  13. OK - no pity, just love and prayers going up on your behalf. And, look on the bright side - if it does come to amputation, ain't nobody gonna fight you for a lovely something at a flea market. I'm just sayin' ;) HUGS (from one who knows the power of laughter to heal even in the depths of the tragedy of burying a child)

  14. Dear Angelique,
    I started reading your blog about a month ago and I have enjoyed it so much. I'm sorry to hear about your medical situation and what you are facing. You are so loved by your family and friends and their love and support will get you through this difficult time.
    I will say a prayer for you. God Bless You and Keep the Faith.

  15. I shall keep you in my prayers. Be strong and think positive thoughts. It helps. Keep us informed. Take care. Sharon

  16. Angelique
    I will be one of the many prayer warriors on your side. Please keep us updated. I will pray for your continued strength, improved health, and complete healing.
    Many blessings,
    Chrissie Grace

  17. I will be praying for you and am so glad you shared your struggles. Please keep us posted as you can, and know the blogsphere is pulling for you!

  18. You have my prayers too, and don't forget: that lil' bird has a whole flock backing her up, just like you!!! xoxo

  19. Many, many prayers coming your way. I feel this is what blogging is for, finding many "angels" to carry us:)
    Love and prayers,

  20. You are in my prayers. I will be thinking about you. Please let me know if you need anything....I am just a river away!!!!

  21. You are in my prayers. You will get through this

  22. NO pity, just prayers to Him on your behalf. Thanks for having the courage to share with us, we will try and help carry your burdon.

  23. Thank you for allowing me to bless you through prayer.

  24. Having said prayers for your entire family for strength, this seems so frivolous, but I wanted others to meet you and be able to pray for you so I gave you an award today. I completely understand if you don't want to play along, you have other things on your mind right now. I will continue to keep you in my prayers, Happy Thanksgiving! ~ Theresa

  25. Good Morning Sweetie!

    Aren't you glad you shared! I just want you to be encouraged today knowing that all of us are here holding that branch up for you! Have a wonderful day!

    Big Hugs,

  26. You are in my prayers. You are not alone.


  27. Hope this makes your day... I just passed on the The Sugar Doll blogger award !!! Enjoy!!

  28. You keep flapping those wings girl! We will keep the prayers flowing in the breeze you are flying in!!!!

  29. One more prayer coming your way.
    Take care,


  30. You hang in there girl!! This is the season of miracles. I have a friend who went through the same thing with a lesion on her arm. She has a strong faith as you do and with radiation and lots of prayer she is well now. I haven't been reading your blog for very long but I so love it. You make me smile. Lots of love and prayers to you!!!

  31. Please know that you are not alone. I am praying for you constantly, and I believe with my whole heart that you are going to be healed and whole. You are so strong and such a you!

  32. I'll hold your branch up - and all of us will weather the storm with you (even the lurkers that hang on 'round here.) ;)

    A wise person once told me that you are never given more than you can handle - and for everything there is a reason.

    'til you know what the reason is...I'll hold your branch up for you.

    God bless and you are in my prayers.

  33. Angelique, May our prayers bless you with the strength and courage to face this storm head-on and with the vim and vigor you have displayed as I have been reading your blog posts over these past months. Thinking of you and wishing you only the best.

  34. I've been struggling, trying to find the right words to say what I feel after reading your soul baring post. I do believe in prayers and the power that come from above to heal. Our Bella is our testimony to what God can and will do. We are all here to help you fight the beast through our heart felt and urgent prayers. You are not alone...this is a battle you will win. As far as holding your branch are so fortunate to have such a strong man beside you who will be doing that with iron arms and love. I for one, will for once, be blowing smoke up your dress. Whatever it takes to keep you on that branch!

  35. i just found you through the flying bee...and i want to say that i am so sorry for the desperately frightening experience you are facing at this time. it isn't pity, at all...just a sincere expression of care and concern for a fellow wife, mother who is terrified and walking a lonely path right now. i will keep checking on you...


  36. just found your blog on another blog - this is the first I have met of you and you have my support. Blogosphere is here for you as someone above said xx

  37. You have my prayers. I am praying for 3 in my own family who are battling cancer. There will be many talking to our Heavenly Father about you....take heart. He is walking through this with you! He will not leave you for one second. His plans for this path you are walking right now are for GOOD...though sometimes our physical eyes just can't see it.
    He LOVES you. Praying.

  38. I have a group of bible study ladies that I meet with every Wednesday. We have seen a lot of prayers answered. Please know that we will be adding you to our list.
    Have you heard Casting Crowns "I Will Praise You in This Storm"? Its a great song for times like these.

  39. I read your blog often and just wanted you to know that you are in my prayers. God is awesome and He loves you. Despite your struggles, He is always there for you.

  40. How about a forest...? From my lips to God's ears...stay strong!


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