Don't Let The Cane Fool Ya

Okay.....

I know that many of you have been

wondering about the state of my condition.

Do ya see the picture above?

That's pretty much EXACTLY what

I look like nowadays.

I have my cane,

my insanely big purse

(because I can't hold cane, and purse, and cell phone, and umbrella anymore...)

my shoes, jacket and hat.

Subtract the hump in the back and I look

Just

Like

That.

My leg is so weak

that it has a tendency to give out on me,

especially if I have to walk a good distance.

So was the case today.

I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items

for dinner.

It was pouring rain.

I got beat out by every little old lady

in this town for a grocery carryout.

Some of...no....

MOST OF

them walked better than me.

Anywhoo...

I wheeled my own shopping cart outside...hobbling.

Insert teenage thug....

Black hair, skinny jeans and tattoo on the neck..

Got the picture?

Said thug runs up to me and offers

to carry my groceries to my car.

"No thank you.I got it."

"But you're limping...here, I'll help you."

"I limp everyday. I got it. No thank you."

This is where said thug makes

his biggest mistake.....

ever.

This boy tries to snatch my purse from the grocery cart

and take off running.

Yeah............

I don't think so.

I introduced said thug to.....

He was trying to run and I was steady

beating him like he stole something...

Oh wait!!!

He was stealing something!!!

My purse!!!

Continue beating with my cane and cursing.

He's now on the ground clinging to my purse

and I fall right on top of him.

I am giving him the butt whoopin'

that his mama

apparently never gave him.

A sacker runs over to help me

and the thug runs off...

without my purse.

Everyone runs over to help me...

Where were ya'll before?

They offer to call the police.

No need...

I got my purse..life is good.

I finally get my carry out for my groceries.

I'm soaking wet and a little sore

but I'm fine.

I ASSURE you that said thug

is tending to his whelps

even as I type.

My mama was killing herself laughing.

The Divine Mr. M

is a nervous wreck.

My mother-in-law

asked me if I was scared.

Me??

Scared??

I've raised a teenager

and have looked cancer in the face....

It would take alot more than

some little twit

to scare me.

I'm an ER nurse.

This is what I do.

Maybe he'll think reallll hard

before he tries to snatch a purse

from a little lady with a cane.

On another note:

I'm real slow moving these days

and my next stop was the post office to mail off all of my giveaways

but Mr. M was all wigged out

and asked me to stay home.

I promise you that everything will be mailed out next week.

I'm just moving a little slow now

and some days I don't move at all

but I'm getting back in the swing of things

and adjusting to my new way of doing things.

I hope that everyone has a

Happy New Year!!!!!!

Post it Note Tuesday

I'm joining with Supah Mommy

in doing Post it Note Tuesday!!

Write what's on your mind to a post it note!!!

You can link back here.

Here's my thought for today.....

Have a great tuesday!!!!

Merry Christmas

"Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel."

Isaiah 7:14

 

 
 

As I prepare to spend the next six to seven hours

in my kitchen

and The Divine Mr. M checks off

the "honey do" list that I have for him

there is a feeling of Christmas in the air.

 

Through all of the hustle and panic

that the day brings,

there will be songs of praise and worship

throughout our home

reminding us of the true meaning of Christmas.

 

Thousands of years ago,

a child was born

that would be the light of the world.

Our Lord and Saviour

sent to save mankind.

 

Let us not forget the joy of family and friends

and the love that is present on Christmas.

The kind of love that spreads from heart to heart

and from breast to breast.

 

Most importantly,

let us not forget that Christmas

is holy

and to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

 

 

Merry Christmas

from Six in One Hand!!!!

The Stockings Were Hung....

On my bannister with great care...

I had wanted a specific garland to match the one

I had on my mantle.

I went back to Hob Lob....but no dice.

They were sold completely out.

I was bummed and kinda whined a bit.

Mr. M just sat on the couch and stared at me.

(That was probably a smart move on his part...saying anything at that point would have been suicide.)

So...when I was through with my temper tantrum

I decided to make do.

I had purchased some cheapo

plain green garland a while back

and decided to use it for my bannister.

But then...genius struck.

Okay, maybe idiot savant....

Anywhoo,

I decided that I wanted vintage baby shoes

to hang on my garland....

again.....

no go.

Couldn't find any white baby shoes anywhere.

Now, if I didn't WANT

white baby shoes...

they would be falling from the sky.

As luck would have it...

I wanted some and they were no where to be found.

So I decided to go with my next thought.

Baby booties.....

didn't happen.

Only blue ones....sigh.

On to plan "D"..

White baby socks.

They were gleaming white.

Blinding white.

Tea stain to the rescue.

It gave them a perfect aged look.

I hung them with some antiqued doll head clothespins.

But now my garland was lacking.

Those socks are small....

no...

change that......

they are "smoooooll."

So I  happened to look over in my living room

and see some of my letters that I purchased

awhile back.

Some of the envelopes are very small and dainty

and are the perfect "yellow".

Ureka!!!!

They worked!!!

I tucked them in with some postcards

that were written by a son to his mother

about his life away from home.

Now, I had a theme.

I always try to have a theme, you know.

(It's good for the soul..)

I would build my garland with

a mother's love.

I added small stuffed bears and toys.

I added some paper mache ornaments

that I painted and distressed.

I draped the garland and added

some tea stained muslin bows that I made.

I could just imagine a mother displaying her

children's socks and toys to remind her

of when her children were small at Christmas.

I tied in bits and pieces of strips of fabric

to give it a punch of contrast.

In the end...

I LOVED IT!!!!

What a happy accident

that Hob Lob was sold out

because I would have never

had to put my thinking cap on

and come up with such a cute garland.

Even Shuga thought it was special.

(She's been sleeping on the steps ever since I put it up.)

As we grow closer to the fastly approaching holiday,

please remember to take time to reflect

on the meaning of Christmas.

Remember to love your family, friends and your brother man

as it was love that gave us this day.

The love that not a mother, but a Father, gave

to us so many years ago

that is still

alive and well today.

Merry Christmas

from

Six in One Hand!!!!!!!

Santa Baby,

Santa Baby,

Slip a table under the tree...chippy.

Been an awful good girl, Santa baby,

so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby,

a really cute mantle too....

light blue.

I'll wait up for you dear.

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the shows I've missed.

Think of all the lovelies that I didn't get.

Next year I could be just as good

If you'll check off my Christmas list.

Santa baby, a vintage watch

and really that's not alot.

Been an angel all year.

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need...

The deed...

to Troy's Junk Exchange.

Santa, honey so hurry donw the chimney tonight.

Santa, cutie and fill my stocking

with  tarnished silver

and fur.

and some crystals too.

Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree

with some shiny brite decorations for me.

I really do believe in you.

Let's see if you belive in me.

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing..

the bling.

not the kind like on Flava Flav.

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.,

Hurry down the chimney tonight...

Hurry.....

tonight.

We Have a Winner ...or two...or three..

I know that I'm a little late with revealing

the winners

but I'm sure that ya'll will understand.

Besides, good things come to those who wait, right?

So, without further adieu.........

The winner of the Barnes and Noble gift card is....

Gypsy Nurse.

The winner of the Tyler Cande is.........

She Dreams Big.

and the winner of the surprise gift is.....

David!!!!!

Congratulations to all of the winners!!!

Please email me with your mailing info and

I will have it out to you ASAP!!!

Slumber Party....Here I Come!!!!

I begged and pleaded

and whined and whined

and finally...

Mr. M said that I could come to

Debbie's Slumber Party!!!

My BFF and Fairy Blog Mama,

Debbie is celebrating her 100,000th visitor and

invited her gal pals over for a sleepover!!!

She's even giving away party favors...check her out!

He didn't think I was well enough to go.

I told him I was too.

After all, we're just gonna be sitting around

painting our toenails

and

doing our hair.

Whatever!!!!!!

I'm ready to PARTAAAYYY!!!!!!

I brought enough ice, thread and brand new needles

to pierce everyone's ears.

I think Misty is sneakin' in some booze to

go with that hot Dr. Pepper.

I'll take mine plain, thank you.

I dressed up my cane

and I have brand new jammies.

Deb from Common Ground showed ya'll hers...

so here's mine.

Aren't they the bee's knees??

They have skullies on them!!!!!

I am sooo excited to wear them for the party.

(Please forgive the stoner look...I still have some Ativan that is hanging on...like a pimple.)

Now, Robelyn I know that you will cheat for sure at Twister

so I'm playing with my cane in hand.

I know that Mindy will be sneaking in the bathroom with Misty

for a swig or two.

I will be doing breath checks, ladies!!!!

Anne, no sneakin in boys...even if it is Troy and Rob.

Adrienne, could you watch the door for us, if they do stop by?

I am soooo ready !!!

We are gonna hang out like loose teeth!!!!

Bring on the Dr. Pepper!!!!